-- what would you do if i killed myself?

-- Ha?

-- You have this thought every week.

-- ah . . .

-- so, nothing?

-- Nothing.

-- I couldn't do anything, if you were already dead,

-- And besides. You wouldn't.

-- what makes you say that?

-- You said it yourself: you love being alive- you just hate being born.

-- Regardless of everything else, you are alive, and you were born,

-- There isn't anything in this world that can undo that truth; killing yourself doesn't solve the problem of an upsetting life- it doesn't even end it.

-- Life and death will always be opposites. They work in tandem- because of that, there isn't any reprieve in death. It's only the other end of the same, terrible scale.

-- Either you live and suffer with small, happy moments between,

-- Or you die, and you lose out on those painful memories, but you miss out on the what-if of the happiness and joys that life inevitably brings.

-- i see . . .

-- Nothing is perfect. Some things are painfully imperfect- but all things are per fect.

-- You can only make do. As is natural law. The world is not so terrible and chaotic- humans have made it so. Say what you will, but they have tamed the minotaur in the maze known as life.

-- . . .

-- . . .

-- Are you really so upset?

-- . . . not with you, ███, please believe me.

-- it just . . . feels as though things will never be better. that whatever existence i live in is pronounced by upset and disdain-

-- i understand this a mentality issue. it's not as though i like it.

-- still, well, i don't know.

-- . . .

-- remember when i said that existence is based in the ability to perceive it?

-- All too well.

-- well i know now, that as it stands,

-- i'm not the perceiver.

-- . . . Oh?

-- yes: i'm only part of one bigger, greater concept.

-- i don't exist.

-- . . .

-- the sadness i feel- none of it is real. none of the pain, or torture, or pity, or loathing-

-- it was all made in the mind of a grand perceiver. maybe two, maybe three, or maybe four-

-- any amount. perhaps even worsened by the amount.

-- the innate curio that is the rabbit hole. the inherently human drive to want to know more, even if someone suffers in the process- perhaps even for it.

-- And . . . where is this coming from?

-- oh? would you like to know?